Voicing The Truth
I learned from a very young age that it was not safe to speak my truth or to speak up for myself the way my mom learned at a young age and her mother before her going back as far as I couldnt even fathom. How many of you can relate to this?
I’ll tell you a little example. When I was 8 years old I was diagnosed (I believe absolutely wrongly) with bipolar disorder and prescribed a medication called depacote. The reason I believe this diagnosis was ridiculous was that as an adult I have been to several therapists and psychiatrists who do not believe I have bipolar disorder.
However, it does run in my family so I could see why I might exhibit symptoms but more importantly I was being severely bullied at school to the point where I was even physically and sexually harassed by one boy in particular. Yeah, I was depressed and angry, especially because I didn’t know how to speak up for myself. Well, my mom told me not to tell a single soul about my diagnosis or about the medication. She was doing this to protect me obviously but my 8-year-old brain took this information to mean that there was something inherently wrong with me and that I was very different, and could not be honest with others about who I really am. That’s just one tiny example of an entire history of learning that I could not and should not ever show people who I really am or speak up about what I do or don’t want. Imagine what this did to my dating life. A lot of doing things I didn’t really want to do and a lot of partners who literally never knew the real me. Work? Forget about it. I could never speak up about what I really needed, or ask for the pay or the respect I deserved. I simply had no tools to speak my truth or stand up for myself.
Fast forward to my twenties when I was trying to become an actor and a singer. Is it any wonder that I was blah in the acting department? If I had no clue how to speak my truth how could I possibly go into another person’s consciousness and live or speak their truth? Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are great actors out there who don’t know how to speak their truth or stand up for themselves, especially as we’ve seen with so many female and male actors in regard to the #metoo movement. But I’d venture to say that the greatest ones know how to find this place of authenticity and truth. We’ve all seen it. It’s the difference between being fully absorbed in a movie or show or being abruptly pulled out of the story because the actor is not very good. We see it as ugh she’s not very good or she’s annoying me but it really comes down to she’s not being truthful in that moment or at all. The same is true for great vs blah singing!
I absolutely believe that the greatest singers who have truly moved us had/have the ability to sing from a place of truth and vulnerability. They are able to connect to some deep emotions and convey these emotions through song. This is what real singing is to me, not about being technically perfect, but connecting to something fundamental and honest to the human soul and we all feel that when we listen. And in my twenties I had no clue whatsoever how to even speak my truth, and therefore no matter how technically perfect I tried to make my voice, no matter how many lessons I paid for, how many hours I trained, or how hard I worked, when I went to sing for people, my voice either didn’t do what I wanted it to do or worse, even when I thought it was pretty good, people were pretty unimpressed and unexcited I took that to mean that its because I wasn’t good enough and I needed to train harder. But the truth was I was not connected to what I was singing and therefore neither was the audience. We human beings resonate with honesty and authenticity. If you’re not being honest whether on stage or in life, your “audience” will be unexcited.
So, funny enough, the best thing you can do to become a better singer, more than voice lessons, more than vocal warmups, more than auto-tune, is to learn how to live, speak, and sing YOUR TRUTH!
Find Out How Wylde Voices can help you Voice Your Truth with a FREE Consultation and Mini Voice Activation!